Dear Rain
Please go away. I want to ride my bike.Dear People with plastic sports cars
We get that you like to drive 100mph on neighborhood roads. But your tiny plastic cars aren’t made for that anyway. I mean, who the fuck are you trying to impress? You’ll just get yourself killed like all the others.Dear tumblr world
I don’t expect you to care about the goings-on of my life and I certainly don’t expect you to e-mail me to tell me that you don’t care. It’s rude plus it puts a damper on my day. Seriously, just unfollow.Dear spacelola
I’m stoked you’re a Wings fan. Representin’ Flint meow.Dear Detroit Red Wings
Thank you for giving me something to be happy about in this god-forsaken state. You kick so much ass.Dear Guy at the Zürich Hauptbahnhof beer store
I don’t care that I can’t speak Swiss German. You must be employee of the month. And no, I’m not fucking ItalianDear Boys
Just because I’m friendly does not mean that I want you.Dear you know who you are
I’m amazing I know, but I’m not superwoman. Stop asking me to do 500 things all with the same deadline.
srslykthxbai
srsly… byeee!
Dear Apple
Please engrave your serial numbers so they are visible to the naked eye. It’s a pain the arse to find my magnifying glass every time I need to reinstall iTunes.
Thanking you in anticipation,
